Today I am going to write you a letter that I want you to reread whenever you are having a hard day(or night). It is going to be filled with encouragement, great memories, and a lot of great lovin' from your girl!
The lyrics for today were chosen because I heard this song on the radio yesterday morning (and it's that country singer with the really deep voice) and it made me think of the experiences we are going to have when I come visit you in October and it also makes me think of fond memories from the past and many good things to come. I'm also imagining you singing it and playing your guitar. This is Josh Turner's “Your Man”:
“Baby lock the door and turn the lights down low. Put some music on that's soft and slow. Baby, we ain't got no place to go. I hope you understand, I've been thinking 'bout this all day long. Never felt a feeling quite this strong. I can't believe how much it turns me on just to be your man.
There's no hurry, don't you worry. We can take our time. Come a little closer...Lets go over what I had in mind.
Baby lock the door and turn the lights down low. Put some music on that's soft and slow. Baby, we ain't got no place to go. I hope you understand, I've been thinking 'bout this all day long. Never felt a feeling quite this strong. I can't believe how much it turns me on just to be your man.
Ain't nobody ever love nobody the way that I love you. We're alone now, you don't know how long I've wanted to...
Lock the door and turn the lights down low. Put some music on that's soft and slow. Baby, we ain't got no place to go. I hope you understand, I've been thinking 'bout this all day long. Never felt a feeling quite this strong. I can't believe how much it turns me on just to be your man.”
One memory of us that always makes me smile is one of our last days together having lunch at Mimi's Cafe. Here are some other memories: Ramen and Heroes of Might and Magic ~ filling your milk glass all the way to the top ~ King of Queens ~ King of the Bed ~ Taking Jane on the swing in the back yard ~ playing your guitar ~ being in the hospital when I had Maren ~ being in the hospital when I had Jane ~ getting blessings from you ~ taking that marriage class together at BYU ~ going to the temple together ~ snuggling on the bed ~ crying to you ~ you carrying me to bed and helping me take out my contacts ~ pushing the green couches together for a sleep over ~ special breakfast ~ standing in front of the picture board while we brush our teeth ~ putting that wood floor in ~ watching Monk ~ rearranging furniture ~ slapping bums ~ shower time ~ trips to WalMart ~ KY ~ chasing Jane around the house ~ snuggling with Maren ~ binky games ~ good dinners and bad dinners ~ Goodwood BBQ ~ last year's Mexico Cruise with Mark and Laura ~ reunions ~ bike rides ~ house projects ~ Other memories that I like to think about when I'm missing you is our last week together in California. That was a really great week: the temple, Pedros, In-N-Out, military garments, boogy boarding with Ben, playing with the girls, big bath tub, of course Mimi's Cafe, Bourne Ultimatum, etc.
Jane is very adorable, as always. One of her new tricks that is so cute is whenever you ask her a question like “Jane, where is your bottle?” or “Jane, where is Maren?” She throws her arms straight up in the air and says, “I no know” like “I don't know.” She is getting so smart. Earlier today we were playing in the toys at your parents house with Caleb and Jane was getting no the red “Cars” car and she accidentally got on backwards. She immediately figured it out, got back off, and got on the right way. She just gets things figured out really quickly. Another thing she did today while playing with Caleb was they were playing in the legos bin and I walked away for a minute and when I looked back over Jane was making a funny noise, like trying to get my attention, and pointing at Caleb. I went over there and Caleb had a little plastic piece in his mouth that he could have swallowed and choked on. She could have just coincidentally been pointing at Caleb, but she looked concerned and the noise she was making was sounded like, “mom, some thing's not right.” What a little smarty. She is going to be such a great big sister. Tonight I gave her a bath and afterward I was getting her dressed in your parents room. There is a framed picture of you in there on the table where the phone is and I took her over there and showed it to her and she said “Daddy” with a big smile. Then I said, “do you want to give Daddy a kiss?” and she just dove right in and gave your picture two big kisses, it was so adorable!
Maren is such a love. She is so full of smiles it's crazy. Jane was never this smiley. Even when she is not smiling she looks like she is smiling because her lips are so curvy. I think she has my lips. I miss your lips :) She is so strong, she holds her head up really well and when you put her on her stomach she holds her head up really well and she also picks her feet up in the air so she's doing like a superman move. She is so squirmy and when she squirms while she's on her stomach it looks like she might roll over at any second. Also, she does what Caleb used to do where if you hold her out (with her face toward the ground) she keeps her legs out straight so her whole body is straight and rigid.
Another thing I want to include in this letter is the message that you wrote to me in the scriptures that you gave me when we got married. It is such a treasure to me and I love rereading it. I hope you realize what a great husband you are:
“Jessie E. Merry Christmas! We are almost married. I am so in love with you I can't express it. I can't wait to start this great journey toether. It will be an adventure. I have a true testimony of this Gospel and the amazing power and influence it can have in our lives independently and together. I know the Book of Mormon is a true and inspired record. We will read it and find so much joy and council in it. It has changed my life and will continue to do so. I know we are starting off on the right foot and I am looking forward to grow closer to the Lord by your side. I love you. BRAD 12-2-04”
I want to close this letter with the lyrics from our song, Tracy Chapman's “The Promise”:
“If you wait for me, then I'll come for you. Although I've traveled far, I always hold a place for you in my heart. If you think of me, if you miss me once in awhile, then I'll return to you. I'll return and fill that space in your heart.
Remembering your touch, your kiss, your warm embrace. I'll find my way back to you, if you'll be waiting. If you dream of me, like I dream of you. In a place thats warm and dark. In a place where I can feel the beating of your heart.
Remembering your touch, your kiss, your warm embrace. I'll find my way back to you, if you'll be waiting. I've longed for you and I have desired to see your face, your smile; to be with you wherever you are.
Remembering your touch, your kiss, your warm embrace. I'll find my way back to you, if you'll be waiting. I've longed for you and I have desired to see your face, your smile; to be with you wherever you are.
Remembering your touch, your kiss, your warm embrace. I'll find my way back to you. Please say you'll be waiting.
Together again. It would feel so good to be in your arms; where all my journeys end. If you can make a promise, if it's one that you can keep. I vow to come for you, if you wait for me. And say you'll hold a place for me in your heart.”
...and my testimony. Today is fast Sunday and it is the first Sunday I have fasted in a long time because I think I only got one fast Sunday in, in between stopping nursing with Jane and getting pregnant with Maren. It felt good to fast, especially because I was fasting with a purpose. Today we had a family fast for Dan and Danni who are starting the process of in vitro this month. I prayed to Heavenly Father that He would bless them in their efforts to grow their family. They want more kids so badly, but this procedure is risky. I also prayed for them that they would be able to trust in their Heavenly Father's will because He had what was best in mind for them. It was a nice experience fasting today with my whole family, a spiritual connection. I went to your parent's ward today and it was a very nice fast and testimony meeting. Sister Messenger bore her testimony and it was beautiful. She bore her testimony of a very simple concept that “love does not divide, it multiplies.” I learned this concept for myself shortly before having Jane when I was trying to figure out how I could love someone so much that I had never met; especially when I already loved you so much! Then I figured out that my heart was just going to grow and increase its capacity for love. I loved you just as much as I ever had, if not more, and loved Jane more than I ever knew I could. Love does not divide, it multiplies. I have a testimony of this concept and I'm so grateful that I have people and things in my life that cause the love in my heart to multiply. My love for you is the greatest and biggest thing that I have ever felt and I feel like the luckiest girl in the world to have you in my life and by my side forever! I know that Jesus Christ lives and that he is our Redeemer. I know that He is mindful of us and our needs and that if we keep him in our lives and in our marriage relationship there is nothing that we will not be able to face! I know that we have already both been strengthened quite a bit during this experience. In one of your letters you said that you missed me more than you ever had and that got me thinking about how this experience is really stretching us further than we've ever been stretched. The coolest part is that we're succeeding, who knows what we're capable of until we try it right? It's exciting to think about, but I know we couldn't do it if we weren't supporting each other and also relying on our faith in our Heavenly Father. I know that you also have a testimony of this gospel and I'm so grateful that I am married to a man who is a faithful member of the church and who brings the priesthood into our home. I am so proud of the choices that you are making every day, you are the best man I've ever known. I know that the experiences that you are having and will have with the National Guard and everything else that you do are helping you become the man you want to be. You are the best daddy to our two beautiful girls, they are so lucky to have you as their father. I love all of you, every bit of you!!!
Love-Your Jess
P.S. You have the best family ever and I have really enjoyed staying with them. I can honestly say that I love them like my own family. What a blessing!
P.P.S. One last thing, we just found out today that Lara and Adam are 9 weeks pregnant! Exciting huh? It's still top secret, they're not telling many people yet...
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